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A Personal Note

I’ve noticed over the years that often bad news develops along a logical continuum.

I got some bad news the other day. It started months back, just a “hmmm, that’s interesting” suggestion that something was wrong. Now I’ve progressed to “well that is concerning” and “what are we going to do about it?” The problem this time around is with my heart – the muscle, not the seat of my emotions – which is a thing many  people face at this stage of life. I’m experiencing regular misfires and arrhythmias, but after about 3 billion heartbeats in my life so far, a few that are out of sync isn’t too unusual. Ahead are more tests and information gathering, then choices about intervention and treatment. I know it’s too early to be worried. Sometimes I am anyway.  

To comfort and help myself I’ve been taking long walks in the sunshine and fresh air, and reading my favorite 19th Century poets, as one does in difficult times. I’ve been checking out those big colorful art books from the library. And I’m listening to lots of blues. The blues are always more soothing to me than upbeat songs. The Stoic philosophers would have loved the blues, with their reminder that things might be bad, but then, they could also be a whole lot worse. I’ve been reading Seneca’s Moral Letters, and I love his suck-it-up-buttercup advice to Lucilius: “You will thus understand that some things are less to be dreaded, precisely because they inspire us with great fear. No evil is great which is the last evil of all. Death arrives; it would be a thing to dread, if it could remain with you. But death must either not come at all, or else must come and pass away.*” Anyway, I’m not at the death and dying stage of the bad news continuum  – yet. No one needs reminding that the catastrophe eventually comes for us all, but it can’t hurt to make peace with it  sooner than later.

I know there are few things more boring than hearing people’s complaints about their health. The surprising thing about being present on tumblr is that I know there are many people here who care for me, and will be full of tender concern. I am so grateful for you all! Something that would be a great help to me would be your suggestions of favorite blues songs that I could use to build a killer playlist. I’ll compile your recommendations and share the collaboration in a few days. That way we can share the consolations too.

*Seneca’s Ad Lucilium Epistulae Morales, Letter 4, translated by Richard M. Gummere

Family life: The female G.H.O. is keeping maternal vigil at the opposite end of the work shed from the male owl’s favored perch. The nest is substantial and sturdy, but its only apparent concession to comfort is a tangle of frayed nylon rope. This late in February it’s possible her eggs have already hatched, and she’s keeping her brood of owlets warm.

Great horned owl (Bubo virginianus) at Whitewater Draw near McNeal, Arizona.

1/250th sec.

I find this photo a little odd. In some ways it looks weirdly contrived, like a product of someone’s clumsy photoshopping. But that fast shutter click caught a tiny slice of time that the human eye can’t register. Maybe this is what birds in startled flight always look like, but we just can’t see. The only adjustments I made were a crop and a border and a small exposure correction. This is the camera’s photo, since I didn’t really know what I was seeing. All I did was point and shoot.

Please click through to see an enlarged view.  

Estado de Sonora: Bas relief seal of the state of Sonora, Mexico, on a crumbling monument in the main square in Naco. The figures represent Sonora’s principal economic products (mining, agriculture, cattle production, and fishing). The figure in the central triangular field is a Yaqui deer dancer, symbolizing the indigenous citizens of the state.